Killing Felons

Murder came easy

for me. Did it you Dear

brother? Do you fear Dear

brother? Fear not, Dear brother,

your sins are safe

from These words.

To-day I will tell

me.


I was 12 when I began

killing innocence, innocently

and became the monster my mother tried not

to let me see.

Our father’s switch

I was

violence

I was

terrible

I was

murderer, innocent, our family history

I was. And some days

still am.


I restrain myself

daily.

Hold back what lingers violently on the tips

of my fists to keep it from becoming the thing that it was

that I was

that I am.


And my friend tells me

she doesn’t see it. That I

am like a big teddy bear, and I smile

to conceal my shame,

put my blue eyes to the floor

to hide the eyes of those

who I have made to fear

my hands, our family history,

our father’s switch. That I

struggle so desperately to un-become.


But even with that, Dear

brother, you know

that were you here, Dear

brother to see my eyes to-day? Oh, Dear

brother you would see them

no more.


Because I have heard of

your daughter’s cries, dried your

son’s tears, both of them and YOU

GREY HAIR, YOU ARE NOT ASHAMED…

but I can smell you, even from 3,000 miles

away, I can smell you, and you stink of our father

you reek of our mother, and the putrid smell of our family

history begs the wind not blow, lest I should smell it, and come

for you, and all that you are, you motherfucker, and all you pass down,

you sonofabitch, and what you and your cunt of a fucking wife have done

makes me want… soo bad…

not to hide

my eyes

from

you.

but

I

do

I do, I do, I do. Though some

days, like to-

day I do

not

know

why.

© Michael Barry 2013